Wonderful

"I just don't understand how you can smile with all those tears in your eyes, and tell me everything is wonderful now."

 Saying that you're happy is a funny thing.  It feels good to say it, it gives validation to what you're doing, and many times, it gets people off your back.  However, it pains me to say this, but it seems like admission of happiness is one of the biggest lies anyone can tell.

I'm not saying people can't be happy, but it seems like the only time I've seen people who are truly happy, they didn't have to tell me.  Happiness is contagious.  Its noticeable.  I'll be the first person to say that happiness comes at a premium in my life.  Like I've said before, I'm not depressed, but being really and completely happy is more of a satisfaction thing, and I am never satisfied. 

Total complete happiness and momentary happiness are also two separate things.  Bama just won the National Championship and that made a ton of people happy, but alot of the fans still have to go back to their double wides and two toothed wives to snap back to reality.  Little things make me happy momentarily, but true happiness comes from satisfaction in what you're doing. 

I've said all this to get down to a point I have made before.  Nothing irritates and frustrates me more than being told someone is happy when I know it is a downright lie.  I don't believe that happiness can flourish in controversy.  Happiness can happen, but it isn't sustained in a life of fighting with the people who you care about and way more importantly, the people who care about you.  The happiness that happens is the momentary happiness I mentioned.

This little moment of happiness can happen in a life of turmoil in many ways.  Sometimes it is just a song you really like.  It could be your favorite food.  Something I have noticed lately is that momentary happiness can come in a moment when someone makes you feel like everything is okay when things certainly are not.  Let's say someone has driven you to fight with numerous people you are close to.  The fight itself is not happiness, but having that someone in your ear saying shit about the other people and seeming like they have your back can give you a glimpse of joy.  Is this making any sense?

I guess what it all boils down to is that real happiness is hard to come by.  In my opinion, it means we should strive for it and not use petty excuses to say we're happy.  If your life looks miserable to everyone around you that knows you, stop the damn lying to yourself and do something.  Don't fool yourself into thinking things are the way they should be.  You should know what's good and what isn't. 

In closing I'll refer to the quote at the opening of this entry.  Don't smile with tears in your eyes and tell yourself that you're happy.  There's enough bullshit in life to bullshit yourself.